i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
