Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
