If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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