Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
porn star boner night. come get it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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