I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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