ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
