so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
