Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
