gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think people are normalizing furries
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
