Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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