His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
