This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
