But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You ruined the universe
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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