I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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