my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
