You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
