He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
