Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
