She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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