I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
