but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
