Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize