You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
