your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
