do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize