spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
