used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize