No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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