I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
