another moral hangover. fuck.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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