So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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