Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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