she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
