my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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