This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
