this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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