Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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