doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize