Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
