You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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