Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You ruined the universe
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
