i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
