Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
