Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
