remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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