some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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