the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
