bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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