I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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