i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
