Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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