I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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