Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
