I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
