I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
