They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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