kristin has been a bad kristin
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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