hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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