i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
