I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
