I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
