you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
