Soap is not a condiment
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
