If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
