Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
