you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
