he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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