I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
