Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
