Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
