My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize