You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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