i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
is it fun? or sober?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
