It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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