just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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