I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize